adult dating a crazy girl and lived to tell the tale?
For Ben, a 35-year old property investor from New York, it was Tiffany. Tiffany was a publicist also from New York—with model features, a bad habit when it came to acquiring mod vintage clothing, and a fanatic obsession with Nietzsche and Amy Winehouse. She was disarmingly beautiful and brilliant, but she also had a dark side.
Tiffany was paranoid. She believed some people are trying to kill her, a pathologic liar obsessed with men in positions of authority, and was also prone to random episodes of crying. None of this made Ben think of going for easier romantic pursuits. On the contrary, he was hooked.
This was the sort of adult dating scenario where you see her as this wounded bird that you just constantly want to repair. It’s just like the Stockholm syndrome—you become sympathetic to your captors instead of realizing, “Oh shit, I’m the hostage!”
In all likelihood, you’ve dated a woman like this. Your friends sounded the alarm which you willfully ignored and your parents pleaded for you to stop seeing her. She’s the crazy girl—the reason that made everyone seriously think about your sanity and fear for your future. Her identity can vary, but whatever it is, it’s highly probably she is intoxicatingly sexy, intense, unstable, mercurial, and impossible to be at ease around in social settings. She was completely exhausting to be with. So why the hell was she so compelling?
Perhaps whenever you fancy someone who has the potential to lose themselves or change in front of your very eyes, there is something attractive with that. Being with her has the ability to transform who you are because someone has just thrown her marbles on the floor and you have no clue when they’re doing it again. It is definitely not an adult dating relationship based on trust.
Of course, it’s not a relationship based on trust. It’s about ungoverned recklessness, chaos, and surreal escapism and unpredictability. An excitement that’s so rare and so powerful, you totally forget to give a shit about consequences and personal sacrifices. That kind of relationship has the potential to take you down a dark mountain road on a tricked out Harley, going over the speed limit.