Sunday, December 18, 2011

It is one of the most terrible, most gut-wrenching things a guy can do, and they do it with as much courtesy as whipping an old nun with her rosary. We can definitely do better. Here are a few things to keep in mind when dumping your adult dating partner.

• Forget about maintaining your status as the nicest guy on the planet. Don’t take away the opportunity for her to fuckin’ hate your guts.

• Don’t use that pathetic cliché “it’s not you, it’s me” and that “you’re too good for me” crap. Being condescending when breaking up with your adult dating partner is as shameful as sending her a text message saying that you’re leaving. And never ever set sail on a long, painful mission to inflict low-level torture and slowly accumulating emotional distance to your adult dating partner until she finally breaks down because you were such a coward to do it at first.

• Make a clean break. This means no hesitations and definitely no make-up sex, unless, of course, she’s relieved that it’s over—fine with it in every way—and still wants to fool around every once in a while.

• Take note, she might be happier about this happening than you are.

• It was believed that JFK sent a bouquet of flowers to the women he was breaking it off with. And while we can’t fully confirm the truth about this nor condone it, we highly recommend the sentiment behind it.

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